1699. WR .THOMAS BOSTON. 91 Dunfe, the encouragement L. loo Scots. I had fuch an offer, and refufed it ; yet fince that time I had fuch an itch after it. Latt night in reading the latter part of John vi. ,the Lord held his candle before me, helping me to underftand it. This night.hav- ing confuted (bale books, and my own heart, on the finfulnefs of man's natural fiate, to fee what further of that fubject remained to be handled ; there occurred only man's death in fin, to which I was determined accordingly. On the Saturday I ítudied it, but not with my former affrttance : but, after havingprayed., and found it to be owing to that I was not fo much emptied of my- felfas before, reckoning the fubject more eafÿ, I recovered the divine aid, in meditating afterward on what I had prepared. Dec. 47. Bei.ng the Lord's day, in the morning I was fome- what heavenly, and had fome defires after, and delight in the Lord. As I went to thé kirk, Peeing a ftudent going thither, it was a temptation to me my not having ftudied my lecture with commentaries, for at that time I had few, or none at all. My frame decayed. Singing after the lecture, an unfeafonable thought a little entertained, did me inexpreffible prejudice. In prayer I knew mydiítemper, had fome kind of grief for it ; but my heart, I thought, was not foftened : and the preaching going away with littje pith, I cut it íhort. Betwixt fermons I went in- to a barn near by the kirk, much diffatisfied with myfelf ; faw how I had brought on myfelf that heavy alteration, went to God taking frame to myfelf, wreftled with him for pity, laying all oars in the water, efpecially pleading the çovenant, and cried that he would remember it according to his promife, Lev. xxvi. 40.--42. 'hen going away again with the promife of his prey- fence, we fang the 6th pfálrn from the beginning, being my cafe: Having prayed with a deep fenfe of my own vilenefs, and the falfenefs of my heart putting me wrong after God had fet me right, I preached at firít with fome life, till, through the Spirit's blowingmore upon me, all my bands were loofed : then I went on, with light, life, fatisfaótion, and concern for their fouls ; and efpecially found my heart enlarged to'preach the freedom and riches of grace, witha hearty abhorrenceof the dottrine detract- log from the praife thereof. All went right in fome meafure that afternoon ; and I had rather mere than lets of my former aid: withal there was forre appearance of the word's making inipref- lion on fome of"the hearers. The time being far gone, no pfalnt was fang after ; in which, I think, I did arnifs, if it was in my power to have commanded four lines. With the ftudent above referred to, I had fometimes had fome fcuffles on the Arminian points : he coming in a little after fermons, expreffed his fatis- faétion in oppofition to there. After fupper, having read fitne- thing for the quefi;ion to be handled, the peoplecame to the even- ing-exercife : and with a fenfe of my own emptinefs and iní'uff -- ciency for the leaft duty, I went to God for his aid, feeing how I could not go but as led, nor ftand but as holden up and l was
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