106 LIVES OF THE PURITANS. So sweet, that I 'hoped my future life would' he wholly devoted to God. I then set my face towards New England, where I resolved to be the Lord's in all manner of holiness. Afterwards the Lord took my dear wife from me. This made me resolve to delight no more in creatures, but in the Lord alone. When God threatened my child with blindness, his affliction was sweet to me, but much more his commands and promises. Then I could do his will and leave all things to him. But how is my gold become dim ! I have no cause to blame the Lord who has persuaded me ; but the Lord pardon my sin. To serve Satan without promise, and forsake the Lord against his promise, is grievous indeed! With respect to my people, I have not pitied them, nor prayed for them, hor visited them, nor loved them, so much as 1 ought to have done. The gospel which I have preached has not been seep in its glory, nor been believed, nor proved effectual. Becanse I have greatly neglected to seek to Christ for supplies, all bath been dead work, and the fruit of pride. I have now had a long sickness, as if the Lord would use me no more. Oh ! my God, who is like unto thee, pardoning and subduing mine iniquities!"* These are some of the - severe -censures which this eminently holy man pronounced against himself. Mr. Shepard, when on his death-bed, was visited by many of his friends and brethren in the ministry. Several young ministers having called to see him, he addreSsed them as follows : " Your work," said he, " is great, and requires " great seriousness, For my own part, I never preached a " sermon which, in the composing, did not cost me prayers, " with strong cries and tears. I never preached a sermon " from which I had not first got some good to my own soul. " I never went up into the pulpit but as if I were going to " give an account of myself to God."t Before his departure, addressing his friends, he said," Oh ! love the Lord Jesus very dearly. That little part which I have in him is 'no small comfort to me now, He died of a quinsey, August 1649, aged forty-three years. He was a person of great learning, a hard' student, an admirable preacher, and an excellent writer. His work on the " Parable of the Ten Virgins," observes Dr. Williams, is a rich fund of experi- mental and practical divinity : the dress is plain, but the strain Of thought is extremely animated and searching.; Fuller has honoured him with a place among the learned Matter's Hist. b. iii. p. 91-93. -1. Ibid. P.238., 11 Christian Preacher, p. 435.
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