JANEWAY. *73 guess. The first, I think, is your reflecting upon your entering into the ministry without that reverence, care, and holy zeal for God, love to Christ, and compassion to souls, which is required of every one who undertakes that holy office. It may be there was a respect toyour living in the world, rather than your living to GO Be it thus, be it not so bad, or be it worse, the remedy is the same. These have in them a wounding power, which will be felt .to be grievous, when felt as they are in themselves. But con- tinual sorrow and sad thoughts keep the wound open too long, and are not available to produce a cure. Wounds, indeed, must first be opened, that they may be cleansed. Theymust be opened, that their filth may be discovered, in order to their being purged and healed. But nolonger than till the Balmof Gilead is applied, that they may be healed. When Christ is made useof aright, he leaved' joy andcom- fort ; yet a constant humility of spirit is no way incon- sistent with this peace with God. " A second cause of your heaviness may be, a sense ofthe state of the people committed to your care. And, indeed, who can help mourning over people in such a condition ? Objects of pity they are, especiallybecause they pity not themselves. I have often wrestled with God, to direct you in the path of duty concerning them, which, I am per- suaded, is your request also. Now, after seriously examin- ing yourself, what your conscience doth conclude to be your duty, do it ; and be sure you do it : you arc then to rest upon God for his effectual working. And this is no more the cause of heaviness to you, than the opposition which the apostles found was to them, who, notwithstand- ing, rejoiced in tribulations. " You may have some thoughts and cares concerning your family when you are gone. Let faith and former experience teach you to drive away all such thoughts. Your constitution and solitary habits may also be some cause of melancholy. But there is a dutywhich, if pro- perly observed, would dispel all. This is heavenly medi- tation, and the contemplation of those things to which the christian religion tends. If we walk close with God in this duty, only one hour in the day, oh, what influence would it have on the whole day ; and, if dulyperformed, upon the whole life ! I knew the nature and usefulness of this duty in some measure betbre, but had it more deeply impressed upon me by Mr. Baxter's "Saints' EverlastingRest; for VOL. III.
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