. ~O· the Chiefof Sinners; 33 · to teU them mY" Condition; which when they bad ~eard~ they told Mr. Gijford of me who htmfel£ alfo took occ(ifion to talk wi~h me ; and was ,willing to be wen per• fwaded of me,- though 1 think ·but frotn little grounds : But he invited me to his Houfe, where 1 Ihould hear l}_im confer with others, about the dealings of God with their Souls -; from aU which I frill received n1ore Convicrion, and from. that time began to fee fomething of the Vanity, aud inward Wretchednefsofmy wicked heart, for as yet 1knewno grea~ tnatter ther·ein ; but now it began to be difcovered unto me, and alfo to work at that rate as never did before. No\V 1evidently found, that Lufl:s and CorruE- . tions p.ut forth themfelves within me, ,in Wicked thoughts and defives, which 1 did not regard before ; my Defires alfo for Heaven and Life began to fail ; 1found alfo, that whereas before my Soul w~tts full of long– ing after God, now it began to hanker after · every foolifh vanity ; yea, 'n1y heart would l:J.Ot be moved to mind that that was good ; it began to be carelefs, both .of 11\Y Soul and Heaven ;,it wottld now continually hang back both to, and in, every duty and was as a Clogon the Legof a Bird, to hinder mefrom flying. ' · 78. Nay, thollght 1, now I grow worfe and worfe now l am farther from Converfion than tver1was before : ~herefore 1began t() \ '
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