34 Grace a~ounding to fink greatly in mySoul, and· began to en.: tertain fuch difcouragement in my Heart, as laid me as low as HelL Ifnow I lhould.have burned at theStake, .I could not believe that Chrifr had love for me.. Alas ! I coula nei:. ther hear hirn, nor .fee hin1, nor feel hitn, nor favour anyof his Thing" :. I was driven with a ·rempefr, my Heart would be unclean, the Cana-anites would con1e into the Land. 79.· Sometimes 1would tell my Condition to the People of God ; whieh, when they heard, they would pity me, and would tell me-of the Promifes; but they had as good have told 1ne that l mufr reach t he Sun with , my Finger, as have bidden m.e teceive·or re– ly upon the Promif.e,- , and .as foon I·fhoulQ. have done it ; .,all'n1y Senfe and 'Feeling was againft n1e; and I fa w I had an Heart.that · l'vould ~in, and that lay under a. Law that would'conde-mn. 8o. Thefe things have often made me think of the Chilu whieh the Father 'brought to Chrifl: ; who wht!e he w~· yet a coming__ to him, WvU thrown down hy the De·vil, amd. fo rent and torn by him, 1 that he lay_andwallowed,_foaming, Luke 9· 42. 1\fark 9.· 2o. . . - Sr. Further, in thefe days,I Ihould·find tny Heart to fi1ut it felf upagainft the Lord, and againft his holyWord: I !1ave found myliil– , _belief to fet, as it were, the Should.er to the Door to keephim out; and that too even then· :when! ha!e, ~ith ll!~ny ~ ~!t!~! ~i~~?r<g~~~
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