Grace abounding and I thought I was fo inGod's Eyes too: Sin andCorruption I faid,would as naturally hub~ ble out of my he~rt, as Water would bubble out of a Fonritain: I thought now,that every one bad a better heart than I had : I -could have chang'd heart with any body; /thought none but the Devil himfelf~onld equalize n1e for inward wicRednefs and pollution of Mind. ,] fell .therefore at the fight of my own vile. ~ nefs, deeply into defpair; for I concluded, that this condition that I was in, could not ftand with a .ftate ofGrace: Sure, thought I I am forfaken of God ; ·fure I am given up to the Devil, and to a reprobate mind : And thus I continueda long,while, even for fo1ne Years together. , .. · 86. While I was thus afflicted with the -fears ofn1y .owndamnation, there were two things would make me wonder, the one was when I f~w old People hunting after1 the things of this life, as if they Ihould live here always : The otber was, when I found Pro· felfors much diftreffed, and caft down, when they met with outward lofres; as ofHusband, Wife, Child, &c. Lord! thought 1, what a_– do is here about fucb little things as thefe ! What feeking after carnal things by fome, ~nd what grief in others for the lofs nf thetn! Ifthey fo much labour after, and fpend fo tnany tears for the things of this prefent · life, how am I to be bemoaned, pitied an.d prayed for ! My Soul is dying, my fot~lis damning.
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