'16 Grttce ·aboto;c/ing, · I o;. And no\v my heart was, at times, ex. ·.:eeeding hard ~ if I \Vould have given a thou– fand Pounds foraTear, I could not fhed one; ·no, nor fon1etimes fcarce d·efJre to ibed one. · I was much de jetted to think that this lhould be my Lot. I faw fome could .mourn and la.. n1ent their Sin ; and others .';}gain, could re– joice,and .blefs God for Chrift; aQd others a- . ;;ain could quietly talk of, and with gladnefs /retn~n1ber the vVord o:f God~ ~vhile I only >.. \Vas 10 the frorn1 or tetil pe1l. 1 hts n1uch funk n1e, I thought 1ny condition was alone; I fl1ou ld therefore n1uch bewail 111y hard hap, but get out of, or get rid of thefe things, 1 could not. - 106. \Vhile this temptatio· Llfred, which · was about a Year, I could /attend. upon none of the ordinances ofGDd, but with fore and great afRiction; yea, then vvas I moll: di.ftreft \vith blafphetnies: If I ·have been hear·· the \;tlord, then in cleannefs, blafphemi ind defpair would hold me Captive there; if I have been reading, then fon1etimes I had fudden thoughts to quefricn al1 I read ; £Jme– times again,my Mind \Vonld be fo frrangely fnatched away, and poffeffed _·wi th other thin?,s, that I have nenher known hor re.. garded~ nor remembred fo nHJch as the Sen· tence that but now I have read. 1.07. In Prayer alfo I have been gre~l ·tly trqnbled at thi? time; fomctimes I have thought I·have felt him, behir .. d me, p :t ll my - I · Cloa ·
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=