2.94 \ VEGA'D.lll. - ftubborne wils ro fubjcdion, to draw this unt~ward f!dh to a fincere ch~rfulndlr A in Gods fcrvicc: to reach unto a foundbdcofc mthe Lord Jefus, to pray Wtth a true heart withoutdillradion, without dillrull, without mif-conceit: to keepc the heart in co~tinuall awe ofGod:Thefearethe hard tasks ofa Chrillian,worthyofour fwrat, wonhy of our r<joycing :_al! which that Babyl~mifh religion fh_ifteth off with a carrlelfe falhionablenelfe, as tf tt had not to doe wuh the fouk Gtve us obedtence :let them take facrifice. Doe you yet looke for more evidencedook into panictilars,and fatisfie your felfe i~ Gods d~cifion, as/JptAtlf4 advifed o~ old.. Since thegoodsofour fathers are in qaellton, whtther fhould wegoe butto htsWtll and Tellament! My foule bearethe danger ofthis bold afienion. If weerre, weerre with Chriftand his Apollles. In a word, againll allllaggering, our Saviours rule is fur< and eternal!: If 4ny m•nwill d1t my Fathtru•iO, hejlutllknow•fthe d•Cirine whethtr it ~e of God. B l~l~~U~UUUlUMUUt~UlllMllUUlll~lUllltJlUll T 0 M. E D M u N D s L E I G H. E p . I ,V. A difmr (e ofthe h•rdne./JeofChrl}i•nity, Andthe.hundant rt"mptncl •f the plt•fum andcommodities ofthatp,.fefsi6n. HOw hard a thing it is(dcare Uncle )to be aChri!lian! perhaps others are !elf< dull and more quiet1 more waxen to the imprcllions ofgrace, and lelfe troubl<fome to themfelves1I accufe none, but whomI dare,my felfe. Even eatie bulinclfcs are hard to the weak:let others boall,I mull complaine.To keepour llation C is hard; harder to move forward. One while I fcarce rellrain my unruly defires,from evil!: after, can find no lull to good. My heart will beeithervaineor fullen: when I am wrought with much fweat to detellfin,and dillalle the world, yet who fhall raife up this drolfe to a fpirituall joy! Sometimes I purpofe well; and if thofe thoughts (not mine) begin to lift mefrom my earth; toe, he that rules in the aire, ftoops upon me with powerful! tentatioos, or the world puis me downewith a fweet violence1 fo as I know not whether I be forced, orpcrfwaded toyeeld; I find much weaknelfe in my felfe,but more treachery.How willing am I to be deceived!How loth to be al. tered!Good duties feem harfh,and canhardly efcapc the repulfe;or delay ofexcufes1 and not without much llrife grow to any relifh of pleafure; and when they are at belt, cannot avoid the mixtureof many infirmities: which do at once difquiet, and D difcourage the mind, not fuffering it to reft in what it would have done, and could not. And ifafter many lighsand teares, I have attained to doe well, and refolve better1yet this good ellate is far from conftanr,,ealily incliningtochange.Andwhiles I ftrive, in fpight ofmy naturallfickleneffe, to hold my owne with fome progrclfeand gaine1 what difficultydoe I find,whatoppofition!O God,what advcrfaries hall thou provided fen us weak men ! what incouoters! Malicious and fubtill fpiritS,an alluring world,a fcrpeotine and fiubbornenature\ Force and fraud do their worll to us;fometimes becaufe they are fpirituall enemies, I fee them not,and complaint<? feele them too late: Other-whiles my fpirituall eies fee themwith amazement, and f (like aco· wardly Ifraelite) am ready to flee,and plead theirmealure, for myfeare: Whois able to fiand before the fons of Anak ? Someother times I ftand fiill,and(as I can)weakly E refill; butam foiled with indignation, and fhame. Then againe !rife up, not without bafhfulnelfe and fcorne: and with more hearty rcfiftance ptevaile,and triumph, when ere-long, furprized with a fudden and unwamed alfault, I am caried away captive, whither I would not: and mourning for my difcomfiture,ftudy for a feeble revenge: My quarrel! is good, butmy 1\rength maintaincs it not;ltis nowlong ere I can recover this overthrow, and find myfelfe whole ofthefe wounds. Befides Suggellions, crolfes fall heavy, and wor!te no fmall dillcmpcr in a mind faint and unfetled, whofe law is fuch, that the more I grow, the more I bearel and not lcldome, when God gives me refpit, I af!lid my fdfe: eithermy fearefaineth evils, or my unruly pallioos raife tumults within me, which breed roach trouble, whether in fatisfyfing or fup· prclling :not to fpeak, that finne is attended, befides unquietneffe, with terror. Now
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=