SEPM.'PI.] SINS AND SORROWS SPREAD BEFORE GOD. ]01 wells of consolation, and they seem to be dry ; then I turn myface, and go away ashamed. 5. I would tell him too of my temporal troubles; if I got near to God, because they unfit me for his service, they make me incapable ofhonouringhim in the world, and render me unfit for enjoying him in his ordinances : I would tell him how they damp my zeal, how they bow my spirit down, and make me go mourning, all the day long, to the dishonour of christianity, which is a dis- pensation of grace and joy. . Thus I might complain be- fore God of pains, of weakness, : of sickness, of thedis- orders of my flesh; I might complain there too of the weakness of all my powers, the want of memory, the scatterings and confusions that are upon my thoughts, the wanderings ofmy fancy, and the unhappy influence that a feeble' and diseased body has upon the mind : " O my God, how am I divided from thee, by dwelling in such a tabernacle ! still patching up a tottering cottage, and wasting my best hours in a painful attendance on the infirmities of the flesh !" I might then take the liberty of spreading before my God, all the sorrows and vexations of life, that unhinge my soul from its centre, and throw it off frommy guard, and hurry and expose me to daily temptations. I might complain of my reproaches from friends and enemies; because these, many times, wear out the spirit, and un- fit it for acts of lively worship. These are my weekly sorrows and groans, these are my daily fears and trou- bles ; and these shall be spread before the eyes of my God, in the happy hour when I get near him. Lastly, I would not go away:without a word of pity and complaint concerning my relations, my friends, and acquaintance, that are afar off fromGod. I would put in one word of petition for them that are careless and un- concerned for themselves : I would weep a little at the seat of God for them : I would leave a tear or two at the throne of mercy, for my dearest relatives in the flesh, for children, brothers or sisters, that they might be brought near to God, in the bonds of the spirit. Then would I remember my friends in Christ, my brethren and kindred in the gospel; such as labour under heavy burdens, languish under various infirmities of life, or groan under the power of strong temptations. When 11 3 i
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