752 THE. BIDDEN LITE OP A CHRISTIAN. [BERM. IX. of his spirit towards Jesus Christ his Lord in the first efforts of bis faith, and embraces of our Saviour? Who was acquaintedwith the secret sorrows of his soul, when he was first set.a mourning for his past sins, and hum- bled himself in bitterness before God ? Or who can express the surprizing delight, and secret satisfaction he felt at heart, when God communicated to him the first lively hópe,offorgiveness and divine salvation ? O the un- known joys ofsuch an hour which some christians have experienced, when a divine beam of light shone into their souls, and revealed Jesus Christ within them, as St. Paul speaks: when they saw his all-sufficiency of righteousness and grace, to answer their infinite ne- cessities; and when they durst believe in him as their Saviour ! And' as the beginnings of this life are hidden from the world, so the exercises and progress of it are a secret too. While the world is following after idols and vanity, the christian, in his retired chamber, breathes after. his God and his Redeemer, and gives a loose to his warm est affections, in the pursuit of his Almighty Friend, and his best beloved. 'While the nien of this world are vex, ing their spirits, and fretting under present disappoint- ments, he dwells in a lonesome corner, mourning for his sins and follies. And at another time, while the children of vanity grow proud in public, and boast of their large possessions and inheritances, he rejoices in' secret, in the hope of glory, and takes divine delight in the fore- thought of his better inheritance among the saints: his conversation is in heaven ; Phil. iii. 20. I might run through 'all the exercises of the sanctified affections, and the various parts of divine worship, and of the conduct of a saint among the children of men. With what humble fear does he entertain the mention of the name of God ? With what deep self- abasement, and inward adoration? At the presence of sin how is his an- ger stirred ?, and his holy watchfulness when temptations appear? how does he labour and wrestle, fight and strive, lest he be overcome by the secret enemies of his soul And as his bitterness of heart is unknown to the world, so a stranger intermeddles not with his joy, Prov.' xiv. O. He feeds on the same provisionwhich his Lord
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