82 SINS AND SORROWS SPREAD BEFORE GOD.. the way wherein1 should walk, and mark out my path plain for Me." 4. I would mourn, and tell him, how little converse I have with himself, howmuch he is hidden from me : I wouldcomplain tohilt, how far off I am from him the most part of my life, how few are the hours of my communion with him, how short is the visit, how much his face is concealed from me, and how far my heart is divided from him. A soul then says, as Surely there is too great a distance.between me and my God, my heavenly Father P' and cries out with bitterness, Why is God so farfront me, and why is m7¡ heart so far front God? now often do I wait upon him in his own sanctuary, and among his saints, but I am not favoured with the sight of his power and glory there ! And how often do I seek him in my secret retirements, but I find him not? I would tell him how often I read his promises inthe gospel, and taste no sweetness ; I go frequently to those wells of consolation, and they seem to be dry; then l turn myface and go away ashamed. 5. I wouldtell him too ofmy temporal troubles, ifI got near to God, because they unfit me for his service, they makeme incapable of honouring him in the world, and render me unfit for enjoying him in his ordinances : I would tell him how they damp my zeal, how they bow my spirit down, andmake mego mourningall theday long, to the dishonour of christianity, which is a dispensation of grace and joy. Thus I might complain be- fore God of pains, of weakness, of sickness, of the disorders of my flesh ; I might complain there too of the weakness of all my s powers, the want of memory, the scatterings and confusions that are upon my thoughts, the wanderings of my fancy, and the unhappy influence that a feeble and diseased body has upon the mind : " O my God, how am I divided from thee, bydwell- ing in such a tabernacle! still patching up a tottering cottage, and wasting my best hours in a painful attendance on the infirmities of the flesh P' I might then take the liberty of spreadingbefore my God, all the sorrows and vexations of life, that unhingemy.soul from its centre, and throw it off from myguard, and hurry and ex- pose me to daily temptations. I might complain of myreproaches from friends and enemies ; because these, many times, wear out the spirit, and unfit it for acts of lively worship. These are my weekly sorrows and groans, these are my daily fears and troubles ; and these shall be spread before the eyes of my God, in the happy hour when I get near him. Lastly, I would not go away ìvithout a word of pity and complaint concerning myrelations, my friends, and acquaintance, that areafar off fromGod. I would put in one wordof petition
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