MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS. 367 sometimes I raise my thoughts a little to contemplate my Creator, in the numerous wonders of his power and wisdom, in his inimitable perfections, and in the majesty and grandeur of his nature ; I fall down before him, confounded in his presence: My own ideas of his transcendent excellency overwhelm me with a sense of my own meanness, and I lay myself low in the dust, whence I and all my fore- fathers sprang ; but perhaps a sudden moment turns my thought aside to my brethren', my fellow-mor- tals ; and when I imagine myself superior to some of them, the worm that lay level with the dust begins to swell and rise again, and a vain self - comparison with creatures interrupts the humble prostrations of my soul, and spoils my devotion to my God. And there it is very astonishing to consider upon what trifles or circumstances foolish man is ready to exalt himself above his neighbour : I am even ashamed to think, that when I stand among persons of a low stature, and a mean outward appearance (especially if they are utter strangers), I am ready to look down- ward upon their undertakings, as beneath my own, because na- ture has formed my limbs by a larger model, has raised his ani- mal bulk upon higher pillars, and given me a full and florid as- pect. Ridiculous Thought, and wild imagination ! as though the size and colour of the brute were the proper measure to judge of the man ! At another time, when I have been engaged in free dis- course, I have heard a sprightly youth talk most pertinently on the proposed subject, but I felt myself ready before -hand to de- spise whatever he should say, because I happened to be born ten years before him ; and yet how wretchedly inconsistent is this dis- temper of mind ! for I was tempted the next moment to neglect what was spoken by a grave gentleman present, because he was born twenty years before me : My own vanity would persuade me that the one was so much younger than 1, that he had not yet arrived at sense,' and the other so much older, that he had for- got it. I find it is not youth or age, but it is self is the idol and the temptation. My foolish heart is apt to say within itself, even wher I am in the midst of persons of thought and sagacity, " Methin they should all be of my mind when I have given my opinion ; and I feel a secret inclination to flatter my own judgment, though I condemn the young and the old. Thus is pride busy and zea- lous to exalt self on every occasion, to set up the idol, and make all bow down to it. These silent and unseen turns of thought within me are so impudent, and so unreasonable, that tI cannot bear to let them appear even before my own judgment: I scarce bring them to a trial, for I know they are evil ; I condemn them as soon as they are born, I banish them for ever from my soul, and forbid their
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