376 SIISCCLLANEOUS THOUGHTS. quainted at least with the outside of this animal machine, and sometimes call it ourselves, though philosophyand reason would rather say, it is our house, or tabernacle, because we possess it or dwell in it ; itis our engine, because we move and manage it at pleasure. But what is this self which dwells in this tabernacle; which possesses this house, which moves and manages this engine and these limbs ? Here we are much at a loss, and our thoughts generally run into some airy forms of being, some empty refine- ments upon sensible images, some thin rarified shape and subtle confusion. We know not this self of ours, which is conscious of its own existence, which feels so near an union of this flesh and limbs, and which knows a multitude of things within us and with- out us. A surprising phrenomenon in nature is this, that the soul of man, which ranges abroad through the heaven, and the earth, and the deep waters, and unfolds a.thousand mysteries of nature, which penetrates the systems of stars and suns, worlds upon worlds, should be so unhappy a stranger at home, and not be able to tell what its self is, or what it is made of. And as we are ignorant what ourselves are in a natural sense, so we are as little acquainted with ourselves in a moral respect. Self love, and pride, and various passions, throw an everlasting disguise upon our own temper and conduct. Whe- ther we have any lovely qualities in us or no, yet we fondly love ourselves, and then we readily belieee all lovely qualities belong to us. It is hard, exceeding hard, to convince a lover that any blemishes are to be found in the dear centre of his affections : but we are warm and zealous lovers of ourselves in all the ages of life. Youth is wild and licentious ; but in those years, we per- suade ourselves that we are only making a just use of liberty. In that scene of folly we are light and vain, and set no hounds to the frolic humour ; yet. we fancy it is merely an innocent gaiety of heart, which .belongs to the springs of nature, and the bloom- ing hours of life. In the age of manhood, a rugged or a haughty temper is angry and quarrelsome ; the fretful and the peevish in elder years, if not before, are ever kindling into passion and resentment; but they all agree to pronounce their furious or fret- ' ful conduct a mere necessary reproof of the indignities which are offered them by the world. Self -love is fruitful of fine names for its own iniquities. Others are sordid and covetous to a shameful degree, uncompassionate and cruel to the miserable ; and yet they take this vile practice to be only a just exercise of frugality, and a dutiful care of their own household. Thus every vice that belongs to us, is construed into a virtue ; and if there are any shadows or appearances of virtue upon us, these poor appearances and shadows are magnified and realized into the divine qualities of an angel. We who pass these just censures
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