Baxter - Houston-Packer Collection BT763 .B35 1655

( 72 ) gain the reputation ofbeing Orthodox among the moil honorable of the Ions ofmen, much lefs with fuch as Mr. E. and Mr. Cr. Nor will I fin againft the HolyGhoft,the Sanctifier ofthe Church, by lleighting his bleffed work; Yet I ferioufly profefs,that among all the temptations ofmy life, I have felt fo little temptation to dream of Merit, or to take any boldnefs with God upon confi. deuce of theworth ofany thing in my felf,or to be lifted upbefore him upon a conceit of my good defervings, that I know not the belt work that ever I did in my life, which Both not more humble me then exalt me,when I review it. I am foConfcious that I have nothing but what Ireceived, and that it is God that worketh both toWill and to Do, and that without Chrift I candonothing, and that my beft Actions are fo lamentably defeftive and corrupted, that without abundant pardoning Grace in Chrift, they will fink me to Hell, that I look with fhame and forrow on thebeft ofmy Works : I knowmy heart bath pride in it as well as others, and toooft do I feel it ftirring in refpeet to the judgement ofman,and otherways againft God ; but fhould I glory or unit in any Merit ofmy works,I fhould even be brutith incontradicting fuch a Sun of Evidence, and Inch lively fence ofmy own heart. May I take leave to open my heart in this point,and to (peakwhat I feel there, and to lay by all my other grounds that while ? it is thus with me When 1 review any dutyor work that ever I did, I feel no confo- lation accrew to my foul from it,as a work, or in refpeet to itsva- lue,but meerlyNegative : that is,I efcape thedifquiet and trouble which would follow the contrary : The comfort that I have in this refpeft is pofitivelynone at all : Only I find no reafon to difcomfort my felf for thofe fins which I never committed, ( fo far : ) Were I a Drunkard, Adulterer, Murderer, &c. I might from the demerit of thefe expect more forrow then I have. But yet in other refpeets I find a pofitive comfort fromHolinefs, and Obedience : As conditions ofSalvation,they are conditions or oc- cations ofmy pofitive comforts ; but not the caufe. But as Gods image, and the things which he loves, 6- fub quorum ratione, he loveth the foul that hath them, (I am loth to fay for them, left it be miftaken,) fo I finde them pofitively comfortable ; as ma- king me a capable object of his Love. And yet further,as they do encline the foul to God, and difpofe it to Communion with him, in holy Desires, Prayers, Prayfes, in the exercifeofFaith, Love, Delight,