Baxter - Houston-Packer Collection BX5200 .B352 1835 v2

134 BAXT$R'S DYING THOUGHTS. more when I come to die? Must I go hence so like a stranger to my'home? Wilt thou take strangers into heaven, and know them as thine that do not better know thee here ? O my God, vouchsafe a sinner yet more of his Spirit that came down on earth to call up earthly minds to God, and to open heaven to all believers ! O what do I beg for so frequently, so earnestly, for the sake of my Redeemer, as the spirit of life and consolation, which may show me the pleased face of God, and unite all my affections to my glori- fied Head, and draw up this dark and drowsy soul to love and long to be with thee !' But, alas ! though these are my daily groans, how little yet do I ascend! I dare not blame the Godof love; he is full and willing. I dare not blatne my blessed Savior ; he hath showed that he is not backward to do good. I dare not accuse the Holy Spirit ; it is his work to sanctify and comfort souls. 1f I knew no reason of this, my low and dark estate, I must needs conclude that It is somewhat in myself. But, alas ! my conscience wants not matter to satisfy me of the cause. Sinful resistance of the Spirit, and unthankful neglects of grace and glory, are undoubtedly the cause. But are they not a cause that mercy can forgive, that grace can overcome ? And may I not yet hope for such a victory be- fore I die ? Lord, I will lie at thy doors and groan : I will pour out my 'moans before thee. I will beg, and whatever thou wilt, do thou with me. Thou describest the kindness of the dogs to a Lazarus that lay at a rich man's door in sores : thou commendest the neigh- borly pity of a Samaritan, tllat.took care of a wounded man: thou condemnest those that will not showmercy to the poor and needy : thou biddest us be merciful as our heavenly Father is merciful. Ifwe see our brother have need, and shut up the bowels of our compassion from him, it is because thy love dwelleth not in us: and shall I wait, then, at thy doom in vain, and go empty away from such a God, when I beg but for that which thou hast com- manded me to ask, and without which I cannot serve thee or come to thee, live or die in a habit beseeming a member of Christ, a child of God, and an heir of heaven? O give me the wedding garment, without which I shall but dishonor thy bounteous feast. Let me wear a livery which becometh thy family, even a child of God. How oft hast thou commanded me to rejoice ; yea, to re- joice with exceeding and unspeakable joy ! and how fain would I in this obey thee ! O that I had more faithfully obeyed thee in other preparatory duties, in ruling my senses, my fancy, my tongue, and in diligent using all thy talents ! Theri I might more easily have obeyedthee inthis. Thou knowest, Lord, thatlove and joyare duties that must have more than a command. 0 bid me do them