138 2he LIFE ofthe, &C. LIB. L. And that which I named before on the by, is grown one of my great Difeafes: I have loft much of that Zeal which I had, to propagate any Truths to others, fave the meer Fundamentals. When I perceive People or Mini(lers ( which is too common) to think they know what indeed they do not, and to difpute thole things which they never throughly ftudied, or expedl I fhould debate the Cafe with them, as if an hours talk would ferve infteadof an acute underftanding and £even years Rudy, I have no Zeal to make them of my Opinion, but an impati- ence of continuing Difcourfe with them on fuchSubje &s, and am apt to be filent or to turn tofomething elfe: which ( though therebe force reafon for it) I feel cometh from a want of Zealfor the Truth, and from an impatient Temper of Mind. I am ready to think that People Ihould quickly underfland all in a few words; and if they cannot, lazilyto defpairof them, and leave them to them- felves : And I the more know that it is linful in me, becaufe it is partly fo in o- ther things; even about the Faults of my Servants or otherinferiours, if three or four times warning do no good on them, I am much tempted to defpair of them, and turn them away and leave them to themlelves. I mention all there Diftempers,that my Faults may be a warning to others to take heed, as they cation my felf for Repentance andWatchfulnefs. O Lord, for the Merits and Sacrifice and Intercellion of Chrift, be merciful to me a Sinner, and forgive my known andunknown Sins. T HB
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