1700. In THOMAS. BOSTON. PD upon me, as being that on which much of my peace and comfort depended. The viótual being then dear, the payment of my ftipend had been fhifted, and was 4e to have been with-held for a feafon from me. But when thus I was leaft anxious about the matter, I underttood that orders were given for doing me juftice. And here I cannot but obferve, that matters of the world go belt with me when I am leaft anxious about them. I examined my heart how it ftood affected with this, and found it was not lifted up : but I was grieved I could not be more thankful for it ; fór I was perfuaded that it was the doing of the Lord. I went'to give God thanks for it, and to beg a thankful heart ; and it was not without force fuccefs. Vi{iting a lick Oman, the Lord bare in on my heart what I fpoke to him, and made me fee the reality of it. Having gone to G , while I was there, my eyes were fómewhat dazzled with the world's vanity. So poor and foolifh am I, and in thy fight a beaft, O Lord ! That afternoon I went to Kerfefneld, having fought of God ftrength to carry right in all companies: and by _ the help I had to feafon converfe there, I was more encouraged to venture on company. And there alto I fpent force time in reading. On Thurfday, having ftudied my fermon, my heart longed to he at the work ; and it fared with me accordingly in prayer : but, by a temptation laid to me in the very time of that exercife, I loft all, and the ferrnon went heavily on. That fame night, the fadtor vifiting me, paid the little money payable by Langton, and (hewed me I was to have all the victual due as íbon as it could be got ready for me. The.ftipend of Simprin was paid partly in grain, and partly in money ; and there was' likewife a proportionable allowance for communion-elements. This was the half-year's Itipend, crop 1699, which afterwards I received accordingly. And it was near as much worth as any, and more worth than force whole year's ftipendafter, on account of the advanced price upon grain at that time. The which put me, I believe, in bettet circumftances than I was expedting, or could forefee ; kind and watchful Providence then, as always, balancing my affairs, ac- cording to the deign thereof. I read not only on the Friday, but tome part of Saturday fore- noon ; which I am furprifed to find : but it feems I frnarted fot that keennefs, finch indifpofition of body and mind feizing me after, that I was quite unfit for my ftudy for the Sabbath. At length I carne to myfelf; faw, and lamented before the Lord, my fin : and he turned my heart back again. So, after dinner, I began and completed nay fermons, in a good frame. But in the 'morning of the Lord's day, being the '2lft, Ifound it much abated ; and I could not recover it, till near the time of going tò church. That day, I perceived, that, through the corruption of my own heart, the fnallnefs of my auditory was to my difadvan- tage ; knowing by experience, while a probationer, the fight of a multitude was of ufe to drive me out of myfelf. Therefore I
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