If)(! MEMOIRS OF PERIOD VIL endeavoured to be impreffed with a fenfe of the weight of the Lord's work in itfelf, to compenfate that lofs : and I had the divine atfitlance that day accordingly. Even in the lecture, I en- deavoured to level the word to their confciences, and had advan- tage by that method. Betwixt fermons, confidering how I, was helped to plainnefs and faithfulnefs in tome meafure, I faw, in the mean while, clearly, my inability to ftand before a holy God, to give an account thereof; and the need of Chrift's imputed righteoufnefs to cover the fins of my public capacity as a preacher. Thus it was alto in my coming home from the afternoon- fermon, in which my affttance had beenaugmented, acknowledging the juftice of God, if he fhould eternally exclude me from his pre- fence. But it was heavy to me, that there was no appearance of fuccefs. On the morrow I went to Robert Fairbairn's in Woaduide, and viüted a fick perfon ; who told me of two things he took for the caufes of the Lord's controverfy. 1.. His being very cold and overly in his duties before his ficknefs feized him. , 2. His un- thankfulneís to God for what meafure of bounty towards his foul he had received, his being fo much in complaints of God's hiding his face, though fince he would have beenglad of that which he was then unthankful for. There I was refrefhed with a heavenly fociety, the excellent ones of that part of the earth, tho' they lived then on borrowed meals, an Epifcopal incumbent poffefling their kirk of Polwarth. Returningon Tuefday, I fpent the time in reading, till the meeting for prayer ; where, from what I dif- cerned among them, I preffed the Rudy of the power of godlinefs, and concern for the public. But at that time the appearance of the .unfuccefsfulnefs of my preaching and private conference wass fuch, that I was ready to conclude, I had ate my white bread In my youth ; that the Lord did, more good by meas a probationer, than, as yet, as a minifter. Next morning I fpent clofely in my chamber, till eleven o'clock, that I went to Lennel, where I had fume edifying converfe with Mr Pow, a grave, peaceable, and judicious man. At night returning home, I applied myfelf again to reading. Lying abed after my ordinary time, Thurfday morning Jan. 25. I found it, as always almoft, prejudicial to me. When I went toduty, O what a wearinefs was it tome ! Howbeit I found thereaftergreat diffatisfadtion with myfelf in my own mind, and a nail in my confcience, by that means. But in the afternoon, by prayer, and ftudying my fermon, I recovered, and was that night much helped to preach with life, ftrength, zeal, and folidity. But as I was going to begin, a temptation of the nature of that wherewith I had been foiled the preceding Thurfday's night, was laid to me ; which neverthelefs I, like aburnt child dreading fire, did elèape, being unable to anfwer it, and fatisfymyfelf, refolving through the Lord's' ftrength to be in my duty, and grip the pro- mifes. Reading Witfius De ceconomiafcederum, concerning the
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