Boston - BX9225 B68 A1 1805

lit) , bIEMOIRS OF PERIOD VII. word ver. 2. efpecially had life and power with.it, in anfwer to , that cafe. I fawGod could preferve me, and would, if it should be for his glory and my good ; and if my body fhould be at a Iofs, .f should get it compenfatedanother way. Now I biefs the Lord, this day, March 4. 1730, that l have not been beguiled. The fcripturesare really God's word. Monday Feb.' 19. I wanted not the blowings of the Spirit in my fecret exercife this morning, which I began this day fe'en- night. I have already found the benefit offpending the Monday morning in prayer and meditation. .While R. N. was at prayer this day, I had an unfeafonable good thought, for which the Lord might condemn me ; but I will fee if I can outfhoot the devil in bis own,bow. Two worldly bufineffes had profpered beyond ex- pebtation. My foul bleffed God for the fame, with a. holy con- tempt of them, looking up to Chrift, -and obferving, that ftill the world goes belt with me when I am leaft anxious about it Soon after I received a gift, which,' though no great one, did greafly confirm me in that obferve. Having fpent the forenoon tnoftly in reading, towards the evening, after prayer, I went and vifited fome families ; and the Lord was not wanting to me therein. On the Tuefday I betook myfelf to my ftudies till dinner : then till near night I was in converfe, and my frame continued in fume meafure. But being, that night, one way or other diverted, that I enteredinito the meeting for prayer without feeking the Lord beforehand,''îhich I afterward was fore was my fin, I loft my frame. Thereafter I found my heart more earthly difpofed than befor Next- day going abroad about bufinefs, I got one dif- cour ent after another, which I was fcarce able to ftand un- der. o be out of the world, thought I, as--I have been fome- times.. But I had no pith to overcome them. I found another . bufinefs had gone right, which I was fometime troubled about; but wo is me that itovertook me in this frame. So do fpiritual decays fuck the fap out of mercies. On Th:urfday the Zed I fought of God a text ; and got one clearly, both for myfelf and the people, viz. Hof. vi. 4., <<`Your goodnefs is as a morning- " cloud," &c. I got alfo a heavyheart from thedoleful laxnefs I perceived in a minifter, who had come to my houfe from a wedding houfe in the town, where he had been waiting on his miftrefs. The indecency of this in a minifter gave rue great of- fence, which I took the freedom gravely to reprefeut to him. And though I was much inferior to him in age, he took it well: but otherwilr had little fatisf'aCtion in bis way. Comparing my prefent frame with he frame of others, I faw God had got little fervice of any of us. When he was gone, I fobbed out my cafe to the Lord ; but was fadly clogged with corruption, and great darknefs, being filled with 'darnpith fadnefs and unbelievingheavi- nefs, feeing no iatisfaétion in any thing of the world, and yet could not get my heart poifed up to Chrift, for the dead weight that was at it. - In this frame I went to the fermon, and was af-

RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=