194 MEMOIRS OF PERIOD XI. troublefome erewe go. Alas! 'little thought I that I was to fee it turned to fo fad earneft. July 19. This day I fpent fame time in prayer, and thinking on this bu{ìnefs. As for the caufes of it in general I could be in no ftrait ; but to condefcend on particulars, has not been eafy. So far as I can difcerrrthe .Lord's mind in it, the great.ground of the quarrel was tny-refufing to preach on the Saturday, though often. and earneftly called thereto ; in which. there was much of my own fpirit.' Three things do bear me in hand, that this was the true caufi of it. I. Though while I was in Penpont .icir Murray a(ledged this was the caufe ; yet I would not admit it, but rather fufpedted thatI had followed my own inclination in going thither, rather than the Lord's mind ; which, upon refle&ion, I fee not hod I can charge rnyfelf with : but the firft time I was convinced of this, was on Saturday after I was come home, out of my own mouth. Telling my wife how matters had gone with me, I happened tofày, the text I (hook' have preached on was, " flow dreadful is this place!" I Would not preach it, but God in his providence preached it over to me. Thrfe words left a convic- tion behind them. 2. Lai" night in prayer, I was carried out in the view of God's jealoufy, and particularly the zeal he bath for his worf t p -, and law how he takes fpecial notice of a fault in or about it. And this is now the third time that I have fallen into thiserror of late._ For In Auguft or September left, being defired to alit at the ftcrarnent in Simprin, and to preach there on the Saturday and after the adtion, 1 went thither accordingly ; where I met with fuch harfh entertainment from forne, as if I had come uncalled. 4..uti when I went there on the Saturday, I found two were ap pointed to preach that day, whereof I was none. Only I got liberty to be a third preacher if I would. This made me very mealy ; and fo my exercife was, toendeavour to be as a weaned child, while I ftw my` corrupt f if amid(t the fparlcs of tempta- tion. And then I got time bitterly to refleót on my rafhnefs, in. that I had not as I ought confulted God, whether I [Mould go to that occafion or not ; the thing (iteming at felt view fo dear tò my dark mind. I preached the Lord's day at night a little while, for it was both late and rainy, the workbefore being drawn out fo, that it was told- them, it {gamed they had no mind that I fhould open my mouth. I had ferved one table, and the Lord was with me ; which Mrs L. perceiving Paid in the mean time to another'perfon, There was devilry there : yet at night invited me again and again to her houfe ; but the perfón the Paid it to, who before had engaged me, peremptorily refund to let me go with her. I was invited to preach on the Monday with other two, but peremptorily refuted. On the Monday morning I was again detired4 but re.fufed ; the rather that I- had nothing to preach bat the Saturday's. fermon. But a minister who had no hand in that work, eafily dealt with a modeft per(bn who was to
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=