Ô9 MEMOIRS Or PERIOD VI. . charge, for a whole year, without receiving any ftipend, which in that event behoved to be the cafe, would render my fettling there at all impracticable; I thought it neceffary to intimate the fame to Mr I).yfert before I went out of the country. Next day,. being the 26th, I began to ftudy for Stenton com- munion, having the night before gone to God for a text, with confidence and particular truft ; and in a little got one ; being to go away the following day. But betwixt ten and eleven fore.. noon I was,fent for to a monthly meeting for prayer, at Polwarth, two miles fromDunfe. Being ftrained with this meffage, I laid it before the Lord, and was determined to go ; confidering that the day and way were ordinarily alike long with me, as it has continued to be in my experience to this day ; andjudging that my fpirit might thereby be the more fitted for that communion- work ; and that going at God's call I might expect neceffary furniture for what I had to do after. Accordingly I went away, ftudied by the way a part of the forenoon's fermon, was countenanced of the Lord there, and returned home again about fix O'clock. I completed what I minded to deliver, before or in timeof theaction ; and havingprayed again; went on and ftudied the férmon to be deliveredafter the action, without having burnt a candle. Thus as much was got done, as I would have done had I been no where abroad that day. I found my fpirit bettered by all, my foul fomewhat heavenly, and raifed towards the Lord : I faw it was good to follow duty, and truft God ; and that it is " not by might nor by power," but by the " Spirit" of the Lord, things are got comfortably done. On the 21ft I went to Stenton, where that night, in medita- tion, I got a view of the tranfcendent,glory and excellency of Chrift, with the emptinefs of all .things betides him ; and the delire of my heart was towards him. How it fared with me at that, communion, I have related above. Under the deadnefs there mentioned, which was on the Saturday's night, being to make public exercife in the kirk, I went to fecret prayer; but really could not pray, yea not fo much as groan fenfibly unto the Lord : only I was fenfible of my hardnefs of heart, and in a fort grieved for the Lord's abfence. So entering on the work in this heavy cafe, the tears broke out with me : but all along I was underdefection. When I came in from that exercife, I went to prayer ; but could not pray ; and joined but very lifelefsly in family-prayer. But afterwards. reading over my notes, which were on Jer. xxix. 13. " And ye !hall feek me, and find me," &c. I got fbrnewhat above that deadnefs, and reached to force confidence in the Lord in prayer. The Lord lifted me up in that place; but thus low was 1 laid before it. Sitting down at the. Lord's table on the morrow, I took it for a fure fign I flrould yet fit downat the table above : and among other particular requefts there, I had one for light in the call of Simprin, ifoffered ; and came away with hope, but no more. The remaining part of the
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