to theChief ~'fSlnners: 69 thought on, it was killing to me.lf I thoug!1t. , howGod kept his own, that ~as killing to n1e; . if I thought of how I was fallen my felf, ti'J~tt was killing to me. As al1 things wroug·ht tt?- . gether for the beft, and to do good ~o them \ that were the called, accon.'ing to hisPurpofe; . fo I thought that all things wrought fo'r my :· Damage, and for tny eterz.1l Overthrow. I s8. Then again I began to con1pare my ' . fin with the fin of Judr~s, that, if poffible, I might find if mine differed from that which, in truth~ is unpardonable: And,Oh!thought · I, if it fuould differ from it, tlio' but the breadth ofan hair, what an happy condition is mySoul in ! And by confidering, I fo-t1hd t~1at . ·r;Judas did his intentionally, but mine was a– gainfr tny prayer ·and (rrivings; befides, his was committed with much Deliberarion, but 1nine in af~arful Fh1rry,on a fuddcn; all t}1is · while I was tolled toand ft o like tbeLocufts, and driven fron1 tr(;ltb!e to foi·row; hearing alw~ys the found of E{au's Fall iQ nline E_ars, and of the dreadful confequences thereof. _ I 59. Yet this confideratioo about 'Judas his · fin was, for awhile,fome little relief unto rne; ior I faw I had not, as to t he ,circun1frances, tranfgrefied fo fouly as he. But this was quick– ly gone again ; for I thought with my felf, – there might be more vVays than one to corn- . mit the ttnpardonrtb!e Sin; .ali(rJ thought tl1at there n1ight be dellrees of that, as welJ as of 0 . other tranfgrefiions; wherefore, f )f ought I D 2 · yet
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