13 / 186
to thl Chief
of
SitJ»ers:
~
6.
Alfo I .fhould,at thefe Years, be
greatly
· ,_ afRit\:ec:l and troubled with the thoughts of the
fearful Torments
of
HeU-.fire,ftill
fearing that
it
would be my
Lot to
be found,at laft,among
thofe Devils and hellifh Fiends who are there
bound down
with
the
Chains
and Bonds of
Darknefs,unto
the Judgment
ofthe
greatDay.
7·
thefe things, I fay, when I was but
a;
Child,but nine
or ten
years
old,did fo
diftrefs
my Soul; that
then,
in the midft of tny many ·
Sports, and Childifi1 Vanities,amidft
rny
vain
1
.Companions,! was often much caft down
and
afflicted in
my
Mind therewith ;
yet
could I
not
let go
n1y
Sins : Yea, I was alfo then fo
overcome with Defpair
of
Life
and Heaven, ·
that I faould often wiib, either that there
bad
been no Hell.,
or that .I had
been
a
Devil;
~ul?-..
pofing they
were only Tormentors,
that
If
it
muft ·needs he, that I indeed
went
thither, I
might
be
rather
a
Torm~ntor,
than be tor..
~ mented
tny felf.
,
· ·
8. A while after,thefe
terrible
Dreams
did
leaven1e,whichl alfo foonforgot;for
myPlea–
fures
did
quickly.
cut off the rerne.1nbrance of
. them,- as
.if
they
had never been:
Vvherefore
\vith
more greedinefs,according
to the
flren(ltb
of
Nature,! did frill let
loofe the
Reins to
~ny
Luft,and
delighted
in
all~ranfgreffion
againft; ·
the Law of God :-
Sq
that until I
can1e to
t'he
·
State
of Marrisge,I_was the very Ringlea_der
of aJl the Youth that
kept
me
company,in
all
znann-er of Vice
and
llngodlinef75? ·
-·--- - ... .
... . - -
.
. A
~
~
9 •
Yea, ·