35 / 186
to the Chief of·
Sinner.~.
~ )·
m11ch afflicted
and difquieted ; fomet imes
by
one, an-d fometimes
by
the other of
~~e·m.
And firft,
to
f
peak of
that about
my
qu~fti.on
ing
my
Election; I found·at this time, that
though
I was,. in a flar11e to find the
vyay
to
Heaven and Giory,and.though nothing
could
beat me off
fron1
this, yet this
Q!teft~on
did
fo
~ffend
and
di~courag~ ~ne,
that I was,
ef–
pectally
at
fotnet1mes,
as
·If
the
very ftrength
of
my ,body
alfo
had been taken
aJvvay
by
the
·force and power thereof. This Scripture
alfo
did feem
to
me,
to
trample upon all
n1y
de..-··
fires ;
It is neither in
hint
that willeth; nor in him
that
runneth;
but in
God that jheweth .
mercy, .
J\.om.
9·
f
)9·
With this Scripture I · could not tell
V{
hat
to do, for
I
ev;idently
f.~nv, :1 nl~fs
that
the great God , of his infinite
Grate,
and
' Bounty,
had voluntarily
chofen,
me
to
be
a ,,
. Veffel of
Mercy,
though I fhould defire,
and
long,
and labour
until tny
.heart did break,
no good could come of
it.
Therefore .
th~
would frill ftick .with tne,
How
can
you tell
·
you
are El(rted
?
And what
if
you
fhould not
?
'
how
then?
_
._
~o.
0
·Lord, \
thought
I, what
if
I
fuoul~ ~,
not
indeed?
It
tnay
be,
you are
not,
faid
the
Tempter: It
jmay be
fo indeed,
thought
I.
Why
then, faid Sata·n,
you
had as
good ::,
leave off, and ftrive no further; for
if
in-
'deed, you
jhould not--be
Elected
and
chofen
~
of God, there
is
no
talk
_of
your ·heing
faved; ·
..
B 4 ·
Fa