Hopkins - HP BR75 .H65 1710

Fifth Commandment. are thofe which are the Duties only of one Party to the other; and that either of the Husband to the W ife, or the Wife to the Husband. Common, are thofc which belong to both, and are by both to be mUrual\y perfouned. , I fh:1\l firft begin with thofe Duties which belong to an Husband towards his Wife And they are thefe·; Firft, Conjugal Love. Indeed L~ve .is a beau~iful <?rnament ~o all Relations, bu t it is the Foundation and fu·ft PnnCJple of this: lt IS Love wh1ch ou~ht at lirft to ti e t he Marriage-Knot; aud it is Love alone than can afterwards make it eafy. No other refpet\ wlntfoever, can keep it from wr i 1~g,ing and g,allitl?, us. And although want of Lov.c cannot dilfOive the Bond, yet i t doth the Joy and Comfort of a MarriCd State. Now of all the ObjeCts that are allowed us to Love here ou Earth, aWife is the ch icf..;:ft; yca,.to be loved above Parents, Children and Friend~, and the dearcft of all other Relauons; Gen. l· 24. 'Therefore Jl~alJ a A4an Leave IJIS Farl1er aud .Mother, and jlMfJ cleave unto his ~Vife. And if you would know the full meafure of this Love, the Apo!1:le hatb prefcribed it, Epl1. 5· 28. So ought )J.fen ro low their YVives as their own Bodies: and ver. 33· Let cvctJ one of you in particular love his Wife as him{cl[; you muft be :1s careful and tender of their Good, as of )'Our own; and refcnt any Inj ury done unto them, as much as if it were done unto your [elves. .t\ nd indeed, there is great n~afon for it; for Marri:!ge ma-kes of two one myftical Perfon; it doth but compenfatc our DJmage, and rcllore the Rib to 'our Side again. And therefore, by Marriag:e two are fJid to be made one Flelh ; Motrk 1 o. 8. Thty twain ~J.lll be one Fltjll: So rhe~1 they nrr. uo ~ou twain , but one FlcfiJ And therefore all Violence and Out~rage agamft a V·lifc, ( Into which the rude and boi[terous Fury of fome brutifh Men doth too often break) is as unnatural, as if you 01ould fee a Man beat, and wound, and gafu himfclf: And certainly they arc mad and diftraeted Paflions which taKe Revenge upon themfclvcs, Erhrf. 5· 2.9. No Man )Cr cwr hated /;is oJVn t1rjiJ; that is, no Man aC\:ing rationally and as becomes a Man, bolt lovcth and cherifherh it. So that we arc to love our Wi\'es with the fame Tenderncfs and Natura lnefs of Affection, as our own Beings, and they lhould be as dear to us as our fclvcs: And if you would have tbis hi~h AH·~8 i on mounted a rlegree higher; fee vcr. 2)· Husbands love your Wives, even M Chrift a!fo kvcd the Church, ar~d ga~Je himfclf for it. If a natural Afit!Clion will not fnfllcc, behold here a fnpernatural one, and the greateft lnftance of Love that ever was cxpreff'cd or conceived, brought to be the Rule and Pattern of onrs. Chrift loved the Church, his Sponfe; although there were many Spots, Blem i1l1cs, aud ImperfeCtions in her; he loved her fo as ro leave his Father, and cle.tVe to his \Vife: He loved h~:r better than himfclf and his own Life, and lhed his moft precious Bloo:i for her; and rathEr than the Wrath of God fltould fall upon his b~loved Spoufe l1e thrufts himfclf between, and receives thefe heavy Blows on his own Pcrfon: S; ought Men alfo to love their Wives, fo infinitely if it were poOible, but becaufe it is not fo, fincerely. And therefore: tft, They muft Love them, though they often bewray many WeaknefiCs and I m· perfeCtions~ which they ought meekly to bear with, though they mufr not counteDancc nor incourage them. Love will cover a multitude of Faults, and as long as they arc hnt Faults and not Crime!', we ought no more to divorce our AffeCtions than ourPerfons from them. There is indeed a touchy Love, which will caufe c,rcat Wrath for very fma\l Olfences; but ufua\ly fuch kind of Love turns into Bitternefs and Ex~fperation .: Therefore Offen~es of ~his Nature {hould pruden.tly be \JaflCd by, only with a glancmgRcproof, or w1th aS1lence that fi1a\1 be more mftruCth•e than Noife and Clamour: Here the Apoil:le exhorts. Husbands, Col. 3· 19. Husbflnds, loveyour Wives, and be tJOt bitter againft them. 1dly, We fhould fo Love them, as not to upbraid them with the Ncceffi t ies or l ncumbrances of a Married Life, but be ccmtent to abridge our fclvcs of our former Freedom, and to forego our former Privileges, either of Plenty orPicafure which we e11joyed in a fio~le Con.dition, withollt repro~chin~ them wi.th it. Mat;y Fools there arc ~ho ~an lie noth ing but Joys and Dcltghts 1u a Marned Life; bu t when t~ey enter mto lt, and find many unexpc£\:ed Troubles, and that they c:utnot live e1thcr at fo much eafe, or with fo much Splendour as before, think to right them4 f~lves by -perpetual Brawls with theirWives, Imputing the canfe to them, and chargmg on th:m a\\ the Burthens and I nconveniencies under which they both labour, and of wh1ch commonly the Woman hath the greater fuare. Now this is not to love