Hopkins - HP BR75 .H65 1710

Fifth Commandment. Woman, and rhet~ make ufe of _her to feduce the Man: For Herefy. as all other sins, does firft invtegle the AffeChons, and then by them _co:rupt5 t~l~ Reafon. And therefore the Husband fhould be well grounded and pnnc1pled \~ltn Knowlcdr,e, that he may keep his Wife from being led aw:1y by the_ craftySubtllty~ of thofe wl1o lie in wait to deceive, and who by good \yor?s and f.ur SpeeL·hes, afh.:Cl:cd Phrafes, and gin~lin~ Exprefiion~, that have nothmg tu them, but Sound .l!ld En·our, pervert the Hearts of the S101ple . But if (as it fometimes hdppcm) God bath indowed tlie \.Vife with a greater mcafure of Prudence, and foild and fubftantiJl Knowledge , than the Husb:tnd; it is then his Part to hearken to her Advice, and to yield not indeed to the Authority of. the Counfe\\onr, as !he is bound to do, but to the Authority of the Counfel: And this Ihe ought to tender him with all Refpeet and Submi.ffion, nol having Power to in join what lhe knows to be befi: and fitteft, but only With Modefl:y propounding it and with Meeknefs perfuadinE him to embrace it. · Fifthly A'nother Duty of the Husband, is Tendcrnefs and Mildnefs towards his \V if;, not: cauflcfiy grieving her, e~t~er b¥ Speeches or ACl ions. That i~ a wretched Family where chafe who are JOIOed m the fJme Yoak, fpurn and k1ck: at one another. 'If the Wife be careful in performing her Dnty, there belongs to, her a kind and loving Acccptation of ir, and Praife and Commendation for it; or, if fhe fometimes fhould fail, fhe ought not to be rebuked with Bittcrncfs, but with Meeknefs, and iu fuch a way as the Reproof fhould lhew more of Sorrow than of Anger. But perpe~u:tl Brawliugs and Contentions, befid~s t~at they wholly im~itter this State of Ltfe, ar.d eat out all the Comfort of tt, mflead of prevcntmg Otfences.for the future, do ufiJally provoke and cxafperate to more, and arc perhaps a greater Fault in the Husband, than that which he exclaims at. in his _Wife; befides, it will certainly indifpofe them, both to the Performances of thof"c Duties which belong unto them in their general and particular Ca\lings. It will hincl.er their Prayers ; for how eau they life up their Hands wichout V..' rath, as the Apoftle Commands, I Tim. 2. 8. when they burn in Choler one againfl: the other? How can they Pray to God for Bleffings upon each other, when (hey have been Curling and Reviling each other? And as for the Duties of their tnrticular Callings; lio we not fee, that in thofe Families where this baneful Contention reigns, they :~re commonly ncg\eC:ted, and all runs to wrack and ruin, out of a kind of Revenge that one Party thinks to take llpon the other. T~e Husband out of Difcontenl wi!l not provrdc, nor the Wife manage; and fo nothing is c<rred for, but only how they may quarrel and rail at each other. A Mifery that many Families fall into, through the indifcreat Heats and Fiercenefs of the Man upon every trivial Offence of the Wife, thoug,h perhaps it was fometimes umhought of. and fometimes unavoidable. S.xt!Jty, Another Du~y of the Husband1 is to give due Rcfped and Honour unto his Wife, l Pet. 3· 7· G:vt Honour unto the ~VJfe llS unto the WtRktr vcffil; for beinu weak, <he ought to be nfcd with the more Refpetl: and Gentlencfs. Think Ho:: nom·ably of her, as the Perfon whom God faw beft and fittcft for you in all the World ; and be not tempted fo much as in a Thought, to believe that any other could have been either fo proper, or fo beneficial unto you: Speak Honourably of her, notdivulginr:any ofherFailings·andimperfeCtions,to her Difcredit; hllt giving her the due Praife of thofe Vertues and Graces that arc in her. For he th:~.t difgraccth his Wife, difparageth himfelf; and every one will cenfure him as gu ilty of Folly, either in chufing or in governing her. Treat her Honourably, neither making thy felf a Servant ·to her Humour, for that wiJl diihonour thee; nor making her a Slave to thine, for that is to dilhonour her; but ufe her as thy Bofom·Friend, thy indearcd Companion, and in every thing but Authority, equat to thy fe lf. . Sewnth!J.' The l~ft Duty ?f an Hus.ban~, i~ prud,ent maintain!ng and !nanaging h1s Authonty. H1s Authonty over hts W 1fe 1s Gods, who hath mtrufted him with it: A.nd our Saviour illufl:rates his own Authority over the Church, by the Authority of an Husband ov~r h~~ Wif~, Ep~rf. 5· And ther~forc it is not bafely to be betrayed, nor to be mamta1ned with Rtgour and Tyranntcal Violence. But the right. and moft efte~ual wa.y of keeping up this Authority, is by Prudence and Grav1ty, by Soberncfs and Piety, and a frayed, examplary and ftri[t Life. This will CJ.ufe a revcrentEftcem and Veneration in the Wife, and in the whole Family:, whereas an humourfom Lightnefs at one time, and as humourfom Severity at anQthcr, wi\\ but cxpofl! tlS to Contempt for the one, and Hatred for the other. • R r lt I . ). 6. 7·