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'16
Grttce ·
aboto;c/ing,
· I
o;. And no\v
my
heart
was, at times,
ex.
·.:eeeding hard
~
if
I \Vould have given a
thou–
fand
Pounds
fora
Tear, I could not
fhed
one;
·no,
nor fon1etimes
fcarce d·efJre
to ibed one. ·
I was much de jetted to think that this
lhould
be
my
Lot. I
faw fome could .mourn
and la..
n1ent their Sin ; and others .';}gain, could re–
joice,and .
blefs God
for
Chrift; aQd
others
a-
.
;;ain could quietly talk
of, and
with gladnefs
/retn~n1ber
the
vVord
o:f
God~ ~vhile
I only
>..
\Vas 10
the
frorn1
or
tetil
pe1l. 1
hts
n1uch
funk
n1e, I thought
1ny
condition
was alone; I
fl1ou
ld therefore
n1uch
bewail
111y
hard
hap,
but
get out of, or
get
rid of
thefe things, 1
could not.
-
106.
\Vhile
this
temptatio·
Llfred, which
· was about a
Year,
I could /attend. upon none
of the ordinances of
GDd,
but with fore and
great a
fRiction; yea,
then vvas I moll: di.ftreft
\vith
blafphetnies: If I ·have been hear··
the
\;tl
ord,
then
in
cleannefs,
blafphemi
ind
defpair would hold me Captive there;
if
I
have been reading, then fon1etimes I had fud-
den thoughts to
quefricn
al1
I
read ;
£Jme–
times again,my Mind \Vonld be fo frrangely
fnatched
away,
and poffeffed _
·wi th
other
thin?,s, that I have
nenher
known
hor
re..
garded~
nor remembred
fo nHJch
as the
Sen·
tence that but now
I have
read.
1.07. In Prayer alfo I have been
gre~l ·tly
trqnbled
at thi? time; fomctimes
I
have
thought I·
have felt him, behir
..
d
me,
p :t ll
my
-
I
·
Cloa
·