79 / 186
to
theChief
~'f
Slnners:
69
thought
on,
it was killing
to
me.lf I
thoug!1t. ,
how
God kept
his
own,
that
~as
killing to n1e; .
if
I thought
of
how
I
was
fallen
my
felf,
ti'J~tt
was killing
to
me. As al1
things wroug·ht
tt?- .
get
her
for the beft, and to do good
~o
them \
that
were
the
called,
accon.'ing
to
hisPurpofe; .
fo
I
thought that all things
wrought fo'r
my :·
Damage, and for
tny
eterz.1l Overthrow.
I
s8.
Then again
I began to
con1pare
my '
. fin
with
the fin of
Judr~s,
that,
if poffible,
I
might
find
if
mine differed from that which,
in
truth~
is
unpardonable: And,Oh!thought ·
I,
if
it fuould differ from
it,
tlio'
but the
breadth
ofan
hair,
what an
happy
condition is
mySoul
in
!
And
by
confidering, I
fo-t1hd
t~1at .
·
r;Judas
did his intentionally, but mine was a–
gainfr
tny
prayer ·and (rrivings; befides, his
was committed
with
much Deliberarion, but
1nine
in
a
f~arful
Fh1rry,on
a fuddcn;
all t}1is ·
while I was
tolled to
and
ft
o like tbeLocufts,
and driven
fron1
tr(;ltb!e
to
foi·row;
hearing
alw~ys
the
found
of
E{au's
Fall
iQ
nline E_ars,
and of the dreadful confequences thereof. _
I
59. Yet this confideratioo about
'Judas
his ·
fin was, for
a
while,fome little relief unto rne;
ior
I
faw
I
had not, as to
t he
,circun1frances,
tranfgrefied fo fouly as he. But this was quick–
ly
gone
again ;
for I thought
with
my
felf, –
there might be more
vVays
than one to corn- .
mit the
ttnpardonrtb!e
Sin; .
ali(rJ thought
tl1at
there
n1ight
be
dellrees
of
that,
as
w
elJ
as
of
0
.
other
tranfgrefiions;
wherefore,
f
)f
ought
I
D
2
·
yet