75 / 186
to the Chief
of
S h 1KC!.f,.
.
'
·'
.,
1
4.9·
And now
\\ras
I both a
bur thcn
and
a
terror to
n1y
felf ;
_nor
did l ever
ft:~
kno·w
~as
now,
\V
hat
it
vva s to be
weary of
D1' "
1ife.>and
yet affraid to
die.
Oh,
hotv
gladly novv
,would I have been
any Body
but
1ny
fel f ! A–
ny
thing but a Ivian
!
and
ia
any
condition
but mi ne
own
!
For
there vvas
noth
i9g did
pafs !llore
_frequently
? Ve r
my
rnind,
~han
that
It
was unpoffi ble
ror
n1 c
to be forgtven
my
Tran(grefiion,
and
to be faved
fron1
"Vrath
to
come..
. 150.
And
now
I
beg~~
to labour to call a–
gain
time
that
was
paft ·;
\Viibing_
a
t houfand
times twice told,that the-Daywas
yet
to come;,
when I il1ould be tempted
to
fuch a fi n ; con–
cluding,
with
great
indignation,
bot h
againft
n1y
heart,
and
all
affaults,
how
I wquld
ra–
·ther have ,
been
torn in pieces,-
t han
found a
confenter
thereto. But, alas
! ,
t hefeThoughts,
and
Wifl1ings,
and Refol vings,
were now
too
too
lat~
to help me: the
Tho~ght
had paired
my
Heart,
God hath let
tne
go, and I
.am.
fallen.
0!
thought I,
thAt
it
was with
m~
llS
in months
p~tfl,
as in the
days
wh1n
God prefi
:..
ved me,
Job
29.
2.
.
.
1
51 . ·Then
agaht, being
loth
and
unwilling .
to perilh, I
began
to compare
my
Sin with o–
thefs, to
fee
if
I
could
'find any
of
thofe
that
are fa ved, had done as I had done. ·So I con–
fidered
David's
Adultery and
Murther, and
found
then1 moft
heinous
Crimes;
and thofe
too comn1itted afterLight
andGrace
receiy'de