43 / 186
.
~O·
the Chief
of Sinners;
3
3
· to
teU
them mY" Condition; which when
they
bad
~eard~
they
told Mr.
Gijford
of
me who htmfel£ alfo took occ(ifion to talk
wi~h
me ;
and
was ,willing to be
wen
per•
fwaded
of
me,-
though
1 think ·but
frotn
little grounds : But he invited me to his
Houfe, where 1 Ihould hear l}_im
confer with
others, about the dealings
of
God
with
their Souls -; from aU which
I
frill received
n1ore
Convicrion, and from. that time began
to fee fomething of the Vanity, aud inward
Wretchednefsofmy wicked heart,
for
as yet
1knew
no
grea~
tnatter
ther·ein ; but now it
began to be
difcovered
unto me, and alfo to
work
at that rate as never did
before.
No\V
1evidently
found,
that Lufl:s and CorruE-
. tions p.ut
forth
themfelves
within
me, ,in
Wicked thoughts and defives,
which
1 did
not regard
before ;
my
Defires alfo
for
Heaven and Life began to fail ; 1found alfo,
that
whereas
before
my
Soul
w~tts
full
of
long–
ing after God, now
it
began to hanker after
· every foolifh vanity ; yea,
'n1y
heart would
l:J.Ot
be moved to
mind
that
that was
good ;
it
began to be carelefs, both .of 11\Y Soul and
Heaven ;,
it
wottld
now continually hang back
both to, and
in,
every duty
and
was
as
a
Clog
on
the Leg
of
a Bird, to
hinder
me
from
flying.
'
·
78.
Nay,
thollght
1,
now
I
grow
worfe and
worfe
now
l
am farther from Converfion
than tver
1
was
before :
~herefore
1
began
t()
\
'