44 / 186
34
Grace
a~ounding
to
fink greatly in
my
Soul,
and· began to
en.:
tertain
fuch difcouragement in my Heart, as
laid
me as low as
HelL
If
now
I lhould.have
burned at
the
Stake,
.I
could
not
believe
that
Chrifr
had love for
me..
Alas !
I coula nei:.
ther
hear
hirn,
nor
.fee
hin1,
nor
feel hitn,
nor
favour any
of
his
Thing" :.
I was
driven with
a
·rempefr,
my
Heart would be unclean, the
Cana-anites
would con1e into the
Land.
79.· Sometimes 1would tell
my
Condition
to
the People
of God ;
w
hieh, when they
heard,
they
would
pity
me, and would
tell
me-
of the
Promifes;
but
they had
as good
have told
1ne
that l mufr reach t he Sun with
, my
Finger, as have bidden m.e
teceive·
or re–
ly upon
the
Promif.e,- ,
and .as
foon I·fhoulQ.
have
done
it ; .,
all'n1y
Senfe
and 'Feeling
was
againft n1e;
and I
fa
w
I had
an
Heart.that ·
l'vould
~in,
and that
lay
under a. Law that
would'
conde-mn.
8o. Thefe things have
often
made
me
think
of
the Chilu whieh
the Father 'brought
to
Chrifl: ;
who wht!e
he
w~·
yet
a coming__ to
him,
WvU
thrown
down
hy
the
De·vil, amd.
fo
rent
and
torn
by
him,
1
that
he
lay_and
wallowed,_
foaming,
Luke
9·
42.
1\fark
9.·
2o.
.
.
-
Sr. Further, in
thefe days,I Ihould·find
tny
Heart
to
fi1ut
it
felf
up
againft
the Lord, and
againft his
holy
Word: I
!1ave
found
myliil–
, _belief to fet,
as
it
were,
the
Should.er to the
Door
to
keep
him out;
and
that too even then·
:when! ha!e,
~ith ll!~ny ~ ~!t!~! ~i~~?r<g~~~